I don't have a clue what to do anymore. At all. Everything has become so complicated and confusing. And I hate feeling like no matter how hard I try, it will never change. Things will never feel good like they used to. I'll never be happy like I used to.
I know I have a long life ahead of me, beyond all this. And I know that things won't always be this bad. But it's been this way for two years now, and I've tried to fix it and nothing has worked. And I wonder why I even bother trying anymore.
Why can't I just let it go, why can't I move on, move past this, get a grip and start over? Why? I want change. I need it, because otherwise I'll keep standing still. Never progressing, never moving forward. I want to feel happy again, truly happy. I want it for real.
But I'm scared. I'm scared of what will happen if I move on. I'm scared I'll lose myself in the process. I'm scared that I'll be doomed to feel like this forever.
I'm terrified.
And I hate that.
Bri
About Me
- Brianna Lee
- Manteca, California, United States
- I'm Brianna. Eighteen. Happy. Figure out more on your own. :)
I know exactly how you feel. The feeling of wanting a new, fresh start but the anxiety that comes with it. It's almost enough to give up, almost. The emotions, experiences, and dreams you once had may not be replaceable, but there's always room for new ones. As impossible as things may seem at the moment, you have to pull through and force yourself to get passed it. I learned that it's scary, and sometimes the people you wish would give you support, won't. But this should only give you more incentive to move forward. Find something better. Something you deserve. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, hope i helped if only the slightest bit :)
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